Tennis Updates

Amelie Mauresmo beat Martina Hingis 4-6 6-4 6-4 in the quarterfinals of the German Open, and on that same day that bitch got trashed by Justine Henin-Herdanne 6-1 6-2. And she pulled out of this week's tournament due to illness. What did I tell you about not getting onto my bad side!? Hingis is playing again this week in the Internazionali d'Italia and I think she should be to breeze through to the semifinals where she will meet either Venus Williams or Nadia Petrova, who has been on fire for the past few months I can smell something burning from here. Well, my plan is to make sure Williams beats Petrova in a tight 3 setter in the quarters using my new spell - chant these secret words Nadia shu gei si ba puo Venus everyday for one day. And then I'll put a curse on Williams stomach muscles (again) so that Hingis could kick her skinny black ass back to L'America. My prediction: Hingis and Kim Clijster meet in the final - winner: Martina Hingis, reality: Kim Clijster. Oh Australia's Alicia Molik is back in action this week too - my crystal ball tells me that she will be out in the first round.


Photo from Atp. Look at this picture of Marat Safin and Tommy Haas at Hamburg Masters. Very vintage and gay, no I mean happy, no I mean gay - no I mean 'gappy'. Surprise surprise... Lleyton Hewitt has withdrawn from the tournament due to injury blah blah blah blah blah. Lazy lazy boy, bad boy!

I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY! GO HINGIS GO!